Leave Your Brain at the Entrance

It's amazing how many people forget to pack their brains when traveling. Sometimes I think maybe those security scanners have some sort of effect on intelligence! (if so I'm definitely screwed)

Of course I'm not perfect and I've had my flaws...like telling the passengers they were going to 3 different Oregon airports in one announcement, but really people some stupid things that you do never cease to surprise me. Unfortunately, a lot of these things happen on a daily basis. Let's see if you've ever made the top 10 of stupidity....

1- Apparently it is very difficult to open the lav door on an airplane. It is a challenging concept I know...turning the doorknob...who would have thought. I mean a circular doorknob, which I'm pretty sure is very widely used, is not just there for decoration people. Sometimes I like to sit in the back just so I can watch how many brainless people cannot open the bathroom door. One flight in particular I had to assist at least 3 people with opening the door...come on people!

2- Some of our aircraft have no storage areas in first class, where overhead bins usually are. I can see how this could confuse some, however, they specifically say no overhead storage! Yet every single time there is some genius who spends minutes trying to pry open a non-existent bin. It's comical really because it's basically a wall that doesn't open at all. I really find validation in this one because of its location. I love watching those super important/intelligent business execs and of course those special frequent flyers (who like to think they fly more than me) struggle with it for a minute before I point out the sign that says NO OVERHEAD STORAGE. Classic!

3- Some of the things that I've been asked for or asked to do are amazing really. I'm not sure if these people are blind and don't realize that we are in this tiny metal tube or what the deal is, but supplies are limited. (I did have a guy supply his own tabasco sauce once) Recently I had a passenger concerned about the air pressure effects on her bag of chips. She was a little nervous to open them because the bag had expanded. I had to open this passengers chips for her. Glad that one wasn't sitting in the exit row!

4- One of the biggest pet peeves of flight attendants is what you do with your trash. I do not come through the cabin multiple times with a garbage bag to collect air samples! I would really love it if you would place your empty cups and wrappers from those lovely snacks in the bag. It's hard I know, and I know that some of you get really attached to those empty cups and love to sit with them for the entire flight, but really just put them in the bag. I really hate when you put trash on your tray-table and then point to it to pick it up. Newsflash, I am not a maid and I am not your slave! Also, when you leave your garbage after landing, when I did multiple trash collections mind you, I hope and pray that your next flight is cancelled or delayed or that you sit on the tarmac for hours on a hot stinky plane! And if you really really want me to hate you and wish bad things upon you then please be sure to leave your used snotty tissues, throw up bags and banana peels in the seat back pocket. I will surely appreciate it. I also love it when you stick your gum to the seatbelt like the real mature adult you are!

5- I don't make announcements just because I like to talk on the PA. After we have landed and I tell you to remain seated with your seatbelt fastened, contrary to what you believe, I am not trying to keep you trapped on this little plane with me for a few minutes longer so we can continue to bond...trust me on that one! This little plane is still on an active taxiway with a lot of larger planes. One little wing clip and you could be in for the ride of your life. Just watch the airbus clip a regional at JFK! Unfortunately your stupidity could also cause others to be injured so please just listen to me. You can't get off this plane until I open the door anyway, so I'm not quite sure where you think you're going. I can see when you take of your seatbelt and half of it is dangling in the aisle. I can hear the clicking noise when you take it off early. Unlike you, I did not leave my brain outside of security. I once made an additional announcement about this, and this guy still didn't put it back on. After we were parked and the passengers were deplaning his wife realized where I was sitting and pointed back to me. The look on his face was classic and he knew that it was his lack of seatbelt I was referring to. I think he probably had to go check his pants as soon as they got off the plane. He apologized multiple times, and I just shook my head at him. Ohhh good times.

6- The specials...oh how I love the specials. The frequent flyers who have achieved the companies special status levels. The ones who have reached the ultimate airline supremacy. The ones who love to remind me how special they are. I really hate that. Generally the frequent flyers are great, and they have learned that treating the staff and crews respectfully is the best way to get what they want. But every once in a while you get the entitled ones. Acting entitled and better than everyone else is the best way to not get what you want. I really love when they tell me they know the rules better than I do. And my ultimate favorite is when they claim to fly more than I do...really...you really wanna go there! Recently I was following company policy and refused to give in to a certain "specials" request. She told me she filled out the surveys all the time and she was going to tell the company on me. I think she was a little shocked when I told her that was a great idea...with a smile of course!

7- Going right along with the entitled specials are those passengers who think they are the only ones traveling! On every little delay there is always the issue of missed connections, and for some reason people have this misguided belief that flight attendants have the ability to hold planes, call gates and magically help them make their ridiculous 5 minute connection that they booked. I am not freakin Harry Potter. I cannot call your gate and tell them you are on your way nor can I tell an aircraft with 200 passengers to wait 15 minutes for just you (especially if you are still in the air). Delays happen, and I assure you that you will make your destination. So when you are getting off the plane save your breath. Don't say "you need to call flight 1780 and tell them we just landed and we are on our way." Cause ya that's just not happening.

8- I am a really scary flight attendant! HAHAHAHA ya right, but the way people react when I tell them they forgot to push their bag under the seat or put their seat back up, you'd think I was walking down the aisle armed and dangerous. The reactions are classic. They get this terrified look, and nearly jump out of their seat. "Sorry, ahh so sorry!" Relax people I am not going beat you with that oversized carry on you brought onboard!

9- Bringing me right to the oversized bags. I can't even begin to place a number on how many bags I can magically fit in the smaller bins. Some people just give up too soon. I have been deemed a master of overhead bin stuffing by many passengers, but really some of those bags are ridiculous. Too many times I hear, "well it fit on the last one." Of course it did, that my friend, was an Airbus, this is a regional jet. Big difference. Your kitchen sink will not fit!

10- Finally, when I say that your carry-on items should be completely under the seat in front of you I don't mean under your feet, in your lap, to your side or behind your feet. I'm really not sure where you heard that. So please save me from crawling down the aisle pushing all of your bags under the seat. I understand that you are traveling and therefore completely brainless and helpless, but this one is simple. Let's start this flight right.

So that's just the top 10 for right now. I'm sure there will be more. Let's be honest, I kind of need you people to do some crazy stuff otherwise this blog will be boring. So here's to happy and safe travels with a little bit of stupidity!

One Year Later

Well exactly one year ago today I was anxiously awaiting to find my name on the LIST; the list of the final interviews to become a flight attendant. It was pretty much the scariest most nerve-racking day of my life. I'll never forget how sick to my stomach I felt as I looked at that piece of paper searching for my name, and how heartbreaking it was to see my new friends not make the list. I remember everything about that day from the speech to the most intimidating one on one interview I've ever experienced. Following the long day of interviews I also remember waiting for that email to tell me my fate. My phone was pretty much attached to me, and I would check my email every hour just in case. Soon enough the good news came, and that good news has helped make this one amazing year.

CA State Capitol

Beautiful Cathedral in Sacramento

I love my job for many reasons. For one, I get to see amazing and beautiful places. I love experiencing the joy of finding someplace I never really considered exploring. There is so much beauty in this world everywhere you go. I've learned to never disregard an overnight because I've never really heard anything exciting about it. I felt this way about Boise and Sacramento, but absolutely loved them both. Sacramento is probably one of my favorite overnights now! I love joining in on different cultural events, going to a Giants game in San Francisco or randomly running into a Latino Festival in San Antonio. It is also great to see the wildlife of different locations, and how skewed a view I had of things. Just today, I nearly had a run-in with a skunk on the beaches on San Francisco. I didn't know they were even around those areas!

Bridge in Sac

Though the traveling and adventure is amazing, there is still one part of my job I love more than anything. I love the people I meet and the different stories that I encounter day-to-day. I love how there is never a day that is the same, and how I have met life-long friends all over the World. It's great to run into flight attendant friends who are sharing the same overnight, or flying with someone you know.

Latino version of Elvis

There are great crews and great people with funny stories and sad stories. I've had many interesting conversations with random strangers. From a pilot giving me a random religion lectures and warning me not to sleep with pilots to spending enough days at a hotel in San Francisco that I was at hugging status with most of the employees.

 I've enjoyed laughing with my passengers and the group of old ladies talking so loudly on the phone, the entire plane could hear..."Doris, Doris ya there?? Here dear you take the phone I can't hear her. DORIS, oh you'll meet us at the bag place, ok that's where we need to go? Ok Doris....She said she will meet us where our bags go, apparently she travels more than us and knows what to do!"

I've met celebs without knowing it, and had a nice conversation with a rodeo clown who amazingly had performed at a rodeo I've gone to my entire life. I've had my share of embarrassing moments, from the announcement bloopers to having a lady freak out when I asked her if she wanted any snacks, she did not hear the world "snacks" (use your imagination)...we had a lot of fun joking about that one for the entire flight, and when she deplaned she told me she was going to get some "snacks".

Just a few weeks ago, I realized how much of a difference just listening to someone can make. Before we boarded our flight, the gate agent came on the plane and informed us that there was a passenger whose daughter had just passed away. When we started doing service I had the opportunity to speak to this woman. I just looked at her an she started crying. I sat with her for a while, and she told me all about her daughter and the car accident that took her life. She was only 21, and their family situation was not ideal, and she had heard the news via facebook. I couldn't help but cry with her as she told me some stories and showed me pictures of her beautiful daughter. When we landed, she gave me a hug as we deplaned and thanked me for being there. As I was cleaning the plane I noticed that she left behind her headphones. I knew her connecting flight, so I figured I could catch her before she left. I was lucky to find her in time, and she hugged and thanked me again. Those who know me well know that I am not a hugging person and that sometimes I struggle at being sympathetic, but this day was different. I only wish that I could do something more for her, and I hope that I helped to make her day just a little easier. I think this was a big moment that helped me to realize how much I love the people I interact with everyday, and how I can be there for someone and maybe make whatever experiences they are going through just a little better.

Being a flight attendant has changed my life, and I feel so lucky to be doing what I do. The experiences I've had and the people I've met are things I will never forget, they have definitely changed me for the better.

Never a Dull Moment

Well 3 trips later, I've decided this has been an exciting month. I don't know what it is about August, but everyday at work has been an adventure. Not all adventures have been great, but good stories nonetheless.

It all began when I was scheduled to sit reserve at the airport on Friday. I already had a 4 day trip scheduled to start Saturday so I wasn't anticipating much, maybe a Denver local. I wasn't going to take my overnight bag, but I figured it was packed and ready for Saturday's trip, so I might as well take it. It wasn't too long into my sit, when I was told I had 20 minutes to get to the gate for a no show flight attendant. The plane had to be out ASAP...and I would be on a 4 day trip! It's a little overwhelming to have 20 minutes to prepare yourself for a 4 day, when you have no idea where you're going!!! I made it to the gate with passengers very happy to see me, and their plane soon out for departure. With quick introductions to the crew, a super fast preflight, and learning I would be going to San Francisco, Chicago and Kalispell we were ready to board.

San Francisco was awesome. I rode the Cal Train downtown, and it was fun just to walk around. I realized however, that San Fran is way too cold for me in the summer, and I need to pack warmer clothes in my overnight bag! We flew to Edmonton, and our Edmonton to Chicago flight happened to have a famous passenger. Unfortunately I wouldn't know if someone famous was on my flight if they were sitting in the first row...literally! We were on our hotel shuttle when the other flight attendant told me that the guys in the back (who were very entertaining) were in a band, and their lead singer was the guy in first class. Of course I figured he was some sort of musician because he had a really cool music tattoo that I admired pretty much the entire flight. She told me they played in Wendover recently so I asked who the band was. She was not a fan of Country music so it took her a minute, but then she informed me that it was Gary Allan! "SHUT UP!" I yelled, "My friends are gonna kill me!" So yes, Gary Allan sat right in front of me, and I had no idea. But hey, I've served someone famous so that's cool.

San Fran

Deep Dish Pizza

I didn't have a lot of time in Chicago, but I did try some Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. That is a lot of pizza!!!! The hotel in Chicago is the most confusing hotel I've ever been in and I got lost multiple times, and it is also under construction. There are hallways that have no electricity and are closed off, somehow I ended up in one of these on one of my lost adventures. I felt like a cast member in a scary movie...terrifying really!

The most adventurous of the flights was Chicago to Kalispell. It's a pretty long flight so we had a lot of passenger bonding time. There was a nice couple in first class who own an acupuncture clinic. They were teaching me all about it. It was all very interesting, but I still don't know if I'm sold on someone sticking needles in me! There was also another couple in first class who wanted to take full advantage of their free drinks. Between both flight attendants serving them, they were pretty happy. We eventually ended up cutting them off...good thing I think because they were starting to get a little tipsy. The guy was very appreciative though, and kept complimenting us. He wanted us to work their return flight next week. When we were descending he motioned me over..."I asked the other flight attendant and she said we couldn't smoke as soon as we get off the plane, but my parents are picking us up and they don't know we smoke (they were 30 by the way). So I was wondering if we could just smoke really quick as soon as we get off?" I told him NO, and explained that with a huge machine full of fuel that would be a terrible idea. I told the other fa, and we spent the rest of the flight making it very clear to them that smoking was NOT ALLOWED!

Delicious Caramel Roll

Kalispell was beautiful! I went to an antique store which was pretty interesting. I also had the most amazing caramel roll ever!!!! We had an early morning flight, but the sunrise was absolutely beautiful. A great wake up for sure.

I ended up having the exact same overnight a week later. The Chicago to Kalispell flight was not nearly as great. It was actually the flight from hell. It all started with a terrible downpour in Chicago. There was no jet bridge so people had to walk up the plane stairs, and there was nothing to block the rain out of the plane. They wouldn't hold boarding, so we had buckets of rain running into the plane. All of the passengers were soaked! We were pushing water out of the plane, and trying to keep the heavy streams form going into the flight deck. It was more like we were on a boat. When we finally got everyone boarded and loaded an extra FOUR boxes of paper towels, it was time to close the door. I was already soaked from the rain blowing into the doorway, but when I shut the door, it was like someone poured a bucket of water over my head. Tons of water came crashing down over my head. As miserable as I already was from being soaking wet, we also were on a plane that was 1/4 full of out of control children. There parents could care less what they were doing. In and out of seats, chaos causing, screaming...the other fa and I literally had to mentally prepare ourselves before venturing to the back of the plane! It was insane. We filled both trash carts, and I have never seen a plane trashed as bad as that one. When we landed in Kalispell I told the gate agent that we needed some help cleaning. She was like, "Is it really that bad??" I told her to see for herself. She got on the plane, and all she said was "Woah, I don't know if our sweeper can handle this!" Ya, it was a rough day, but we had a fun overnight to make up for it. We went to a cool little Saloon. It was pretty legit with an old time cash register, sawdust floors and pretty good pizza!

Kalispell Sunrise

I also had an overnight in Tulsa, which was fun because I got to visit an Aunt and Uncle who live there. The night I was there, they had an incredible thunderstorm. From their house, I had a great view of downtown, and the stormy sky. It was a beautiful storm, and I must admit I'm a fan of midwest storms...absolutely amazing. It was also such a great experience to be able to spend some time with family I don't get to see very often!!!

I've worked with some awesome people, but unfortunately not all personalities work well together. One FA and I certainly were not on the same page. Thank goodness it was just a local!!! I fear that had we been on an overnight together, I would have needed some anger management possibly. I don't even remember her name, her name to me is...Crazy Face! Crazy Face is a very happy person, but she had a staring problem. She would creepily stare at you and smile with a blank face for what seemed like forever. She also had major trouble making a decision. Everything she would do seemed to take forever because she would always question it. A lot of times we pour leftover juices and sodas into the empty water bottles. I started to do that, and she proceeded to tell me that she didn't think we were supposed to do that anymore. I told her that I wasn't aware of that and I and every other flight attendant I've flown with do that all the time. Later on when we were finalizing cleanup she told me she really didn't think we were supposed to do that and she was going to pour out the liquid. The flight was just a super short flight, and with the slowness of Crazy Face we barely had time to cleanup before we were landing. I was the forward flight attendant, and instead of asking me to go get snacks people requested she insisted on writing them all down and taking them back later (such a waste of time). When we were boarding there was a cat in the exit row. She asked me if this was ok, and I told her no. Later on, she brought out her manual just to make sure this was true. She was behind on her pin count so I told her I would brief the exit row for her. After finalizing the pin, she told me she wasn't ready to close yet because she had to brief the exit. I reminded her that I did it, but apparently it wasn't good enough because she insisted on doing it again. Flying with Crazy Face was sure an exhausting experience. I think if I see her on my flight again...I just may have the flu!

Hello Monterey

Recently, I just finished a trip with two of my favorite overnights, Monterey and Victoria! I also had one night in Boise, and it turned out to be a lot better than I expected. The flights started off a little rough with some delays, and then there was the 45 minute weight and balance delay. The plane was 1400 pounds overweight, and nobody would volunteer to get off. I don't blame them though because due to the other flight bookings they wouldn't be able to get out for 2 more days. Trying to answer all of their questions and keep people happy for that long is incredibly hard. I had people yelling at me, and asking me questions left and right. Unfortunately the agents weren't giving me many answers and they weren't helping me out much. They finally decided just to pull off all of the checked bags (which didn't really ease the anger of the passengers). That flight wasn't much fun at all. People were angry about bags, connections, and delays. There was a passenger onboard whose wife was a flight attendant. He told me that when he told her they were sitting there with a weight and balance delay she didn't even care when he would be home, all she said was that she felt bad for the flight attendant. I told him his wife was my new best friend. A lot of the passengers were very nice, but of course there were the few who really tried to make it hell for us all. "The Doctors" were traveling home and were worried about their connection. They insisted on speaking to the Captain and having them hold their connection flight. I told them that was unlikely. I also had to explain to them that no matter who they were this flight was not safe to take off and until it was figured out, this plane wasn't going anywhere. I helped show them the gates and I think they ended up making their connection, so eventually they were appreciative! As soon as they pulled the bags and were weight cleared those gate agents sprinted off the plane, leaving me to deal with the rest....joy! Once we were off, things ended up not being so bad. Just a lot of questions about their baggage, again understandable.

Sunset in Monterey

This trip had a few flights with incredibly stinky people. This is a hard one for me to deal with. Honestly it makes me sick! I think complimentary deodorant and breath-mints would be a great idea. It can't be enjoyable for anyone. One passenger was complaining to me about the volume of the PA, it was so hard to listen to him because his breath about killed me right there in the aisle! Seriously people, it's called hygiene!!!!

Despite the delays and other people's personal issues, the trip was awesome. I walked to the beach in Monterey, spent some time in the amazing hot tub, stayed in an amazing hotel and met a super nice pilot from Florida and another cool lady from Jersey. I wasn't anticipating Boise to be super great, but there is a really nice river walk and it was beautiful. I went crab fishing in Victoria and caught a living starfish. The hotel there is amazing! They have robes and slippers in the room, and a spa at the hotel. Victoria is generally a pretty senior overnight so I was so fortunate to be there.

Awwww

Amazing Hotel in Sidney BC

Victoria Overnight

So that's the story so far. I don't think I've ever had a day that felt routine in this job, and that's what I love. There is never a dull moment, and so far I don't think there ever will be!!

The Only Constant is Change

Well it's been a while since my last post, but things have been kind of crazy! I transferred from Minneapolis to Salt Lake City, and although I'm loving SLC I still find myself missing MSP a lot! I'm glad I missed out on the terrible heat wave though.

Being back in Utah was kind of an adjustment strangely enough. I froze for the first 2 weeks I think, and when people would complain about it being humid and hot I just had to laugh. The thing I miss most is my Minneapolis flight attendant family. Living in a hotel for a month with a lot of people had its challenges, but I think it's something I will always fondly remember. It's strange to come home from work and not have your friends waiting to talk about your crazy trip filled with strange delays, you're awesome announcement bloopers, weirdo passengers or flying with the most attractive pilot you have ever laid eyes on! I learned so much from all of them, and miss them terribly! In a way, being a flight attendant isn't quite the same.

On a happier note, I still love every minute of this job! Every day is a new adventure with new people. I've only really flown with one other crew member that I didn't particularly get along with. We had a nice little disagreement in front of passengers where she ended up making an entire family move (even though I told her they didn't need to). After basically telling me off in front of them, she later told me that I was right and we didn't need to move them after all...crazy lady! She did make up for it later though when we had another puker, and she offered to handle it after realizing my stomach was a little to weak for it.

My first trip out of Salt Lake was awesome. I had overnights in Phoenix, Kansas City and San Francisco for the 4th of July. Unfortunately, mid-trip the flight attendant who previously dropped the trip took it back over, and I was stranded in Houston. I spent quite a bit of time on the phone that day working out what base I needed to be sent back to since I was still technically based in MSP. It was quite a mess, but strangely enough I ran into another MSP, recently transferred to SLC, flight attendant friend in the same exact situation. It was a crazy coincidence, but ended up being so great. We both got to stay at the same hotel in Houston, and we met up with another one of our friends who is based there! We kept with the Southern Style and had a classy dinner at Church's Chicken. The neighborhood was pretty sketch, and when we got our order of strawberry shortcake they brought it out saying, "we ain't got no whip cream", oh well...it was still great. I spent the morning of the 4th of July relaxing poolside in Houston, flying home in 1st Class, and getting to spend the night at the fireworks with my family. I couldn't have asked for a better day!

Nearly dying of heat stroke!

Since then I've been flying quite a bit. I endured the mid-west heat wave in Oklahoma City and ended up underestimating the weather and getting heat stroke. I was exploring along the river walk without bottled water (super bad idea in a very humid, hot place). I really wanted to reach this one point and hopefully see some of the city so I kept going even though I was super dehydrated and tired. The way back was pure hell and took me forever. I had to stop and sit down in the shade like every 5 minutes. Pretty soon I was throwing up and had the worst headache ever. I could see a hotel not too far and figured they would have a store with bottled water. With eyes fixed on the hotel I slowly made my way. A few times I was worried I was going to have to call the ambulance to come rescue me or fall in the river and float away and never be found...how embarrassing. Eventually I made it to the field right next to the hotel (I swear it was the longest most pointless piece of land on this earth). It was like the final stretch of a marathon, but I finally drug myself into the hotel, grabbed a bottled water and handed the clerk my card without even being able to speak. I chugged the water and sat in the lobby watching tv for a minute (pretending I was a guest at their hotel of course). When I finally had enough energy I finished my journey back to the right hotel. What a day!

After Oklahoma City, it was on to St Louis. Fortunately it was a lot cooler! The hotel was nice with kind of a cottage style. They had a pond with cute baby ducks right outside my balcony. I really liked Missouri. It was really pretty. It was crazy though, you could see the path of their recent tornado, and the damage at the airport was still pretty evident.

St Louis Hotel

I've met so many passengers this month! Really nice and awesome people, and of course there are the people who are always memorable. One flight we had a little gas problem. This terrible smell kept making it's way into the galley from the first row, eventually the pilots called and asked what the smell was. "Sick, I know, I have no idea who it is, but it's disgusting!" I said. They laughed and said they had been blaming it on each other, and then they decided to blame it on me...haha gross! Every time it would creep up again I would look back at the passengers and try to distinguish who looked like the guilty party, but I could never figure it out.

On another flight, I was sitting in my jump seat when I noticed a male passenger with painted toenails. They were painted with cute polka dots even. As I was sitting there trying to figure out excuses for him I decided that maybe someone played a joke on him, but then I concluded that wasn't the case because he was wearing sandals! He had to know, and he was cool with it. I was trying to think of a polite and professional way to talk to him about this and figure out the story, but I decided it was best to just make up my own stories.

Many sweet passengers have provided me with gifts.  I met a nice couple who owned an embroidery company and left me their card if I ever had any embroidery needs. Another man, came into the galley and gave me and the other flight attendant pieces of chocolate. They were even xo chocolates...how sweet. Poor guy almost got his head knocked off by the other flight attendant though (sometimes when people catch us off guard we go into auto defense mode, and she was ready with the self-defense moves). We had a good laugh about that!

As far as my recent embarrassing moments, I'm sure I couldn't even write a list. It would be far too long, but that's the joys of learning something new. The other day I left my bags in a first class seat, and forgot to put them away after being so rushed to board.  A few minutes into boarding, a passenger stopped me and said, "excuse do you know whose these are...this is my seat." I looked down at my bags..."Oh my gosh I'm so sorry those are mine" He looked at me, shook his head and said, "Ma'am all carry on items need to be properly stowed in an overhead compartment or completely underneath the seat!!!" Everyone in first class was laughing! He told me he couldn't resist. Laughing myself, I told him that I just wanted to trade spots with him and sit in his nice first class seat and he could work this flight. He decided that he was doing pretty good so far, but he didn't wanna spill drinks all over everyone so probably not...funny people.

So sorry it's been a while. Hopefully I can keep more on top of my blogging! I really do enjoy remembering these stories, and hope you all enjoy reading them! I appreciate all of your support. Safe flying!!!

20 Fights, 4 Days, Too Many Delays

DELAYED...Now there's a word you never want to see on the airport screen! Unfortunately, Mother Nature decided to have a nervous breakdown and someone decided mechanics needed more work to do...leaving me with a lot of unhappy people. My trip was going so well. Originally a two day with ten flights. The first day was great, all five flights with no major issues. A nice overnight in Winnipeg, and I was ready for day two.

Of course different day, different story. Arriving back in Minneapolis, we had an aircraft swap. We walked down to the gate, and our plane was still not there. Pretty soon we learned that the plane was actually still in Rapid City. It hadn't even left the gate yet. As I was sitting there waiting, another flight attendant joined us at the gate. She was there to do my line check (where an instructor rides on your flight and makes sure you are doing everything right). Because of the delay and other flights she had scheduled she was only able to do a spot check (they make sure you are compliant and have all of your required items). So I would still have to anticipate another line check...lucky me! The worse part of this delay is that the flight was just a short, 74 mile hop. The flight was eventually cancelled, 2 hours later, long enough that the passengers could have already been home (by car).

After flights two and three for the day were cancelled, I had about a three hour break before we had to leave again. More quality airport time. (I think I might hide a tent somewhere in the airport, and set up a little home) Pretty soon it was back to the gate for the next flight. Again...the plane was not there. This one was 45 minutes delayed. Eventually it made it there and we were on our way. The passengers were all pretty nice and understanding with me. I think it helped that I gave them cookies and peanuts on a technically non-service flight...shhhh. As soon as those passengers were off the plane, I went into turbo speed to get that plane out and hopefully make up some time. But then the Captain had some bad news, weather in Minneapolis had caused a ground delay. The airport was shut down. Seriously! As I sat there facing a very good possibility of being stuck in Sioux Falls, I was very glad that I had taken advice from other flight attendants and packed my bag for longer than my scheduled trip. It can happen people...be prepared! Luckily we were boarding and cleared to go 45 minutes later. Again, I had to bribe people with snacks, but hey, whatever it takes. When we finally touched down in Minneapolis, most of the passengers were very close or had already missed their connecting flights. I was just as ready as they were were to be done with this day, and not a fan of being delayed all day. But as we were taxing in to the gate more bad news...lightning strikes close to the airport had shut down all the gates. So 15 more minutes on the tarmac. By this time people really had to go to the bathroom, and I had some desperate requests to get out of their seat and use the lav. I called the pilots and begged for my passengers relief and they said it would be all right, just let them know when everyone was seated again. This is a moment when more than one bathroom is needed. I ended up having to cut off the lav line because the gates had opened again, and when those windows of opportunity open up on a day like this, you do not hesitate. We were finally home, and I was definitely ready to get back to my residence at the hotel!

After a day like that, I was pretty exhausted. I didn't really anticipate that I would get called out the next day, but sure enough, 6:22 a.m. my phone rang. I answered with a groggy hello, and a woman, with a voice that was way too happy for that time in the morning, informed me that I had another trip in two hours. Another two day with ten more flights. It was a pretty gloomy and raining morning, bad weather that meant the potential for more delays. Well they didn't start until the third flight. Another aircraft swap (they seem to be bad luck for me) and we were waiting for a motor on a windshield wiper. Two hours later, we were on our way. It was just a short flight to Duluth, and as we were nearing descent the passenger call button rang. I made my way down the aisle to a woman holding a sleeping baby. She asked if there was a bathroom where she could change the baby. I told her where the lav was and that it was really small and we were almost descending, but if it was really necessary she could get up and change the baby really quickly. She then informed me that the diaper was leaking, and it was acidy. Way too much information! Before I could say another word, she handed me the child. The poor baby was just dangling there in my arms (I am terrified of children, especially ones with overflowing diapers). The guy sitting next to the lady was like, "You don't have children do you?" "No," I said, "What was your first clue?" The lady then realized that she did not have any diapers. She looked at me and asked if we had them on the plane. "No ma'am we don't." She then went on to tell me that this was an emergency and she really needed to change the baby. There were no other babies onboard. I'm not quite sure where she wanted me to magically make a diaper appear from. I went through the plane trying to find anything that would work. I handed her maxi pads, wipes, paper towels, anything that would maybe help. She just looked at me and said, "Your delays suck!" So now it was my fault the plane was delayed, she didn't have extra diapers, and her baby was miserable. I was on a roll. She had the poor baby just sitting there in front of the lav as I was trying to find her something to use, so I also now had to ask another passenger to hold the poor child, she was definitely up for mother of the year! Finally she gave up and realized that since we were only 15 minutes from landing it would be better to wait than to somehow strap maxi pads to her baby. I wished her luck as she deplaned. Good thing the baby slept through this whole ordeal. She may have been traumatized for life!

Back from Duluth was even more unpleasant. Already delayed by two hours, some connections were already gone, and others weren't looking good. This is the flight where I received my first negative encounter with a passenger. We will call her Betty. The first thing Betty did when she boarded the plane was hand me a coupon for a free drink and requested it NOW. On this particular aircraft we don't do pre-boarding drinks and this was also a non-service flight. I told her I could not get her drink. She then proceeded to yell at me for five minutes on how she couldn't use this coupon on her last flight and it expires so she was going to use it now, and that I was going to get her drink for her. I told her we were boarding and trying to get the flight out faster since it was already delayed. She then told me I could have gotten the drink while I had been there arguing with her. Then she wanted me just to give her the mini liquor bottle and she would just take it with her. I told her we can't allow passengers to take them off the plane. Still arguing/yelling at me I just gave up and turned around and walked away. I was able to get her drink to her during the flight (it was not as turbulent as anticipated). As I was walking down the aisle, the passenger sitting behind Betty motioned for me to come here. She whispered to me that Betty had taken my name and information and was probably going to file a complaint on me. She told me that she had witnessed the whole thing and that she would be willing to write a witness statement to support me and provide her  information if I needed any backup in case I got in trouble. I will probably keep this note forever! It was so great. She said that the lady was rude and scary, and that Betty had harassed me and was very insistent to get alcohol. Instantly she became one of my most favorite passengers! As the passengers were deplaning this amazingly nice lady stuck a good job star sticker on my hand. I stuck it to the note she wrote me. A permanent reminder that for every one rude passenger, there are hundreds of amazing ones willing to help you out. As I got to my hotel that night in Grand Forks, I filed a report about the altercation with Betty. So if you're out there Betty...you file a report on me I will go ahead and file one on you!

The rest of the trip went pretty smoothly. Just some funny passengers. There was the guy sitting in the front row who would sleep with one eye open. The whole time it creeped me out because I wasn't sure if he was looking at me or asleep. Then there was the cute old lady who I had to lift out of her seat. Generally this wouldn't have been difficult, but It was my last flight of the 20 and I was beat! And on the last flight there was a special assistance passenger who kept me busy and entertained as I rescued him from the lav, and gave him a safety briefing where he would repeat everything until I acknowledged him. I really do love every moment of this job, and all of the amazing people I meet!

After that long exhausting trip I was able to go home for a few days and relax. Glad to have survived 20 flights in 4 days!

Even More Reason to Avoid the Lav

On a quick trip to Fargo, Rapid City and La Crosse I wasn't anticipating too many exciting things to happen. Only 2 of the 6 flights would be service and they were all pretty quick trips...so no big deal right???

WRONG!

First off I had an FAA Retiree onboard. Scary, but no rules broken (sigh of relief). Then I had the luck of getting two different aircraft with the annoying plunger door (there are only 4 total). We had three different aircraft, so three preflights. I forgot my pilots name in one of my announcements, and had to pause and everyone laughed. So that was pretty funny. We were running on a delay because one of the planes from the first crew was late getting in, and it had also not been stocked by como. The trash was overflowing, there was no ice, trash bags or service items. And finally there was the puker...

I knew we were in trouble when the lovely lady boarded the plane, requesting a seat change closer to the bathroom and a bag. Now maybe I am just too simple minded, but if you are not feeling well I surmise that boarding an object moving through bumpy air at over 500 mph would not be the best of ideas, but she was not about to stay behind. So after begging some people in the back, a nice man, in the most perfect seat for this lady, agreed to change seats. Ready for takeoff...

Not five minutes after takeoff had gone by, when I look up from my jumpseat to see the lovely lady in the back row mad dash to the lav. Yes the seatbelt sign was still on, but I guess when you're desperate rules go out the window. I figured it was safe enough and better off for everyone if I just left her alone and let this one slide. Well poor lady became an occupant of the lav the entire flight.

As the plane started into its descent I had to do my cabin sweep. She was still in the lav so I just knocked on the door to let her know she needed to be back in her seat for landing. By the time I finished all of my other prelanding duties she was still locked up in the lav. Passengers are not allowed to be in the lav for takeoff or landing. I knew that this lady was in a tough situation, but I was concerned for safety reasons. So I spent the next five minutes banging on the door, yelling at the lady to get out of the bathroom. "Ma'am I need you in you're seat right now! I brought you back another bag, and I'm sorry that's uncomfortable, but you cannot be in the bathroom for landing." I have never been so stern with a complete stranger in my life. A lot of the other passengers kept looking back, wondering what in the world was going on. I considered opening the door from the outside, but definitely didn't want to witness what was going on in there, and wasn't exactly sure what I would do if I got the door open anyway. She yelled back at me, annoyed, "I'm throwing up!"..."Ma'am I understand that, but you cannot be in there, get in you're seat now!" I looked out passenger window and realized how close the ground was. Oh crap! We were minutes from landing, and I had to get up to the front to my seat as well. Then the signal for landing echoed through the cabin. Double crap! One final plea/demand, "Ma'am you really can't be in the bathroom for landing! I'm going up to my seat, but I left a bag on your seat, and you need to get out now!" I then raced down the aisle toward my jumpseat, which at an almost vertical down-facing position is very challenging. It felt kind of like I was just swimming over the seats. I finally made it to my seat got buckled in and looked up just as my lav occupant was finally getting to her seat. Just moments after we were landing. Now that's cutting it close.

As one passenger was getting off the plane, he said, "You did all you could do back there...good job!" I just laughed and apologized to pretty much everyone around the situation. The puker was the last to get off the plane. Though I was slightly upset with her I still had some sympathy and told her to feel better! She didn't look good at all...I guess spending an entire hour in an airplane lavatory will do that to you!

After everyone was off the plane, I informed my pilots about the situation. The first officer asked me if we needed a cleanup. So now was the time to face my fear and check. I walked back to the lav, and opened it just a crack. I already have a fear of using the bathroom on a plane...and this just may have made that impossible to get over. For some reason this lady found it appropriate to use the sink instead of the toilet, and it wasn't draining. The smell was awful. I slammed the door shut and jumped back, "Oh gosh, I'm not doing that!" The pilots just laughed and got the cleanup crew out there. They were also not impressed with her location decision, but at least it was all secluded in the lav! This wonderful event caused even more of a delay, but the passengers boarding for the next flight were pretty understanding.."I heard you had a situation on the last trip," one of them joked, "Rough flight?"

By the time we got to the hotel that night I was exhausted! The overnight was in La Crosse Wisconsin, and it was beautiful. The hotel sits right along the Mississippi River, the room was nice and I had a huge sleep number bed. It was a welcome relief from the long day.

The next day started early, but was an easy day. Just one short flight. When we were checking in with the gate agent she read my name, and then went on to tell us how she has a cat named Lexi, and when they say Lexi Cat Lexi Cat she gets all excited and rolls around. I told her I don't do that...the pilots thought this was hilarious, but I did not. The entire walk to the plane they would yell, "Lexi Cat Lexi Cat!" Lovely.

As always, I enjoyed meeting many new great and wonderful people. There was an adorable elderly couple on one flight who had been married for 67 years! I was amazed and honored to have them on my flight. I asked her what the secret was and her advice was to never be selfish. So there ya have it. I think their advice is qualified to be doctrine by now!

Well, another trip down and it just keeps getting better! Can't wait for more.

Off With the Training Wheels

As flight attendants, we go through weeks of intense training where we are closely monitored and instructed on everything that needs to be done. Obviously I knew that wouldn't be the case forever, but when you are the only flight attendant on the aircraft, it really hits you!

I began my first official trip by myself with butterflies going crazy in my stomach. Not only would I be the only flight attendant, but I was also going on an international flight...way to start slow eh??? I had four legs on the first day, an overnight in Canada and one leg on the second day. Only one was a no service flight (I prefer service flights, I feel useless when I don't have any).

Once I got onboard the plane, the butterflies began to ease up, and I felt pretty good about knowing what I needed to do. The boarding went smoothly with a correct passenger count and everything. I got out my liquor paperwork before service and filled it out and counted the liquor...I was sure I had everything Ineeded. Service went well (didn't spill any drinks) and I had gotten the cart all cleaned out (as a preface, this means that I had dumped out all of the leftover drinks, juices, coffee and ice in the trash...remember that small detail). Now it was time to add my liquor sales to the paperwork...as I read over the sheet a small, terrible detail became apparent. I had forgotten to get the number off of the previous paperwork before I threw it away. I looked over at my full trash cart, the paperwork was sure to be at the bottom...crap! Solution, dumpster diving! I looked back at the passengers and made sure that none of them were paying too much attention to me, pushed the trash cart as far as I could into the galley, put on some gloves and dove in. Diggingthrough cans of soda, ice, tomato juice and trash in a confined space is not the easiest thing, especially when you are trying to keep your white, long sleeved shirt clean and hide your embarrassing moment from passengers. Finally I found a soaking wet piece of paper. Relief...but once I unrolled it from the soaked ball it had become I was devastated to see that it was just the provisions paperwork...back to the trash. I was beginning to feel hopeless and panicked at what was going to happen to me when finally I found another wad of soaked paper. JACKPOT!!! Crisis #1 averted, and as an added bonus a deplaning passenger told me he was very impressed, he'd never seen a flight attendant work so hard...oh if he only knew.

Crisis #2 was fun. We were nearing landing, and I had all of my duties complete. I had done my sweep and made sure all of the passengers were set for landing. I had finished cleaning up the galley, so I was sitting in my jumpseat making sure I had done everything. When I looked up, to my horror, I noticed that one overhead bin was open. Someone had gotten something out after my sweep and forgot to close the bin. I knew I didn't have much time before I was supposed to be in my seat for landing, so I threw off my seatbelt, ran down the aisle, shut the bin, gave the passengers around it a dirty glare and raced back to my seat all amid some pretty rough turbulence. I sat back in my seat and buckled up just in time for the landing signal. PHEW!

I had a lot of really great and fun passengers. A lot of them would ask me how long I'd been flying...my response...look at my watch and say "You really wanna know". But they were all so nice and full of compliments. I also had a military guy onboard and as he was deplaning he turned to me and was like "don't worry, it's my first day too." There is also this man that I sat next to on my flight moving here, well he ended up being on two of my flights and I also saw him at the airport the next day. Small world!

My final major crisis happened at the end of my trip. We landed in G gate and I had to go through customs and back through security to get to the crew lounge, by C gates, to turn in my liquor paperwork and money. When I got to the crew lounge, it had almost been an hour since we landed I pulled out my paperwork, and another sickening feeling hit me. Instead of the liquor paperwork I had the provisions form. AHHHH! I raced out of the lounge back to G. I flagged down a cart driver and begged him to get me to G. He was sooo nice, and was instantly my favorite person of the day. When I got to my gate, the plane was gone. I raced to the next gate that had an agent. Out of breath, I explained the situation to her and asked her is she knew where that plane was. She put it into her little system and told me that the plane was at C gate about to go to Nashville. She was nice enough to call the gate and let me talk to them. The gate agent told me the plane was about to leave but she would go on and try and get my paperwork. I told her I had the como form and wasn't sure if they had done it or not, but she told me it was already done. Apologies to all the people dealing with my paperwork issues! So once again I raced back to the C concourse. I was sprinting through the airport, in full uniform, on the moving walkways. I'm sure I looked so great sweating to death and out of breath, but I got to the gate just as they were pulling the jetbridge from the plane. Holding my breath (what little was left in me) I waited for the agent to come back. Lights of heavenly rays glowed through that gate as I realized that she had my liquor paperwork form in her hands. Obviously liquor paperwork is not my strong point, but I will be double checking everything from now on!

As far as my travels go, I went to Nashville, Cincinnati and Regina. When I opened the door upon arrival in Nashville I immediately wanted to shut it. Hot and humid!! On top of that heat (bad day to wear long sleeves) there were tons of these huge bugs. As I was freaking out and trying to keep them off the plane the gate agent started laughing. Apparently they're "just cicadas" and they don't bite. They do hiss though, and really they are huge,  but it a way kind of pretty for bugs. Nature also got crazy in Cincinnati where we were delayed because there was a turtle on the runway...no lie, literally a turtle! No real nature issues in Canada except for the fact that when you travel internationally you kind of feel like a zoo animal yourself staying in special areas behind gates and walls and stuff. Of course I ended up going to Regina. In class we had learned how to properly say it, and attempted to do so many times without getting pre-teen giggles...good thing. My captain told me they get mad when you say it wrong, and they also have a slogan that says the city that rhymes with fun...really, I saw a t-shirt!

We're Not in Utah Anymore

First off I will say that Minneapolis is a beautiful city. I started off with every intention to stay here for a while...then I became homeless...and while living in a hotel seem like a glorious life I'm sure (at least you have a maid and never have to cook) I would just really love to unpack my bags. I also miss eating my normal weird foods, and would love some tomato juice and noodles!

My first few days here were spent exploring the city and catching up with all my training friends, my new Minneapolis family! The nice thing is you can get pretty much anywhere in the city through the skywalk so you don't have to freeze to death outside, but if you don't know where you're going it can get pretty confusing. Needless to say I spent an entire day in the skywalk and saw the entire city with no intention of doing so. i couldn't fit my purse in my luggage so I had to buy a bag on my first day out. Of course the only bag I could find said Minnesota all over it, so I branded myself as a tourist from day 1. As I was taking picture of Target Field (again being a tourist) I met a rapper. He wanted to chill with me while I toured the city, but I declined (I hope he wasn't famous).

Go Twins!

Mississippi River

Mall of America is AMAZING!!! If I were to create Heaven it would be something very similar. There is an aquarium, a theme park, good restaurants and fast food places (Pita Pit) and pretty much every store I would ever want to shop at. Mac and Sephora are right next to each other. Funny enough the Apple and Microsoft stores are as well. They also have a Western Store to remind me of home.

After the initial days of tourism, the dreaded apartment search began. Little did I know that it was going to be as awful, stressful, frustrating and difficult as it was. With no car, staying close to the lightrail, so we could get to the airport faster, was a huge factor. No luck...I'm pretty sure we called and looked at every place along the line...no availability to crappy apartments kept me on the go. On day I think I walked like 12 miles. I found myself looking at a studio apt, comparable to those awful apartments they show on tv shows like in the slums. As the nice man was showing me around it (didn't take long) I was trying my best to be polite and hold back my tears of shock and horror at the same time. This definitely wasn't the cozy life I have become accustomed to at home. Then I found myself across town in a neighborhood where I was very much the minority, and everyone, I mean everyone was staring at me. It was as if I had missed  the lightrail and boarded a plane to the Middle East instead. Finally, I ended up in another neighborhood that looked a bit more promising, but then an adorable little 3 year-old child started yelling profanities at me from his front porch...such an angry little Vikings fan. After that, it was back to the hotel for me...rough day!

What I live out of

I’ve been in 3 different hotels since being here. Two have been very nice, but one was pretty ghetto and had a Lester Molester looking man running the front desk, and Wolf Man driving the shuttle. I didn’t last long there! 


With all these frustrations of being homeless, I have officially put in for a transfer back to Salt Lake City. I’m not sure when that will happen, and I’m still loving this adventure and can’t wait for more!

The story so far...

Well so far flight attendant life has been quite an adventure. I had a 3 day trip for my inflight training. I went to Burbank, Eugene, San Francisco, Boise, Denver, and Rapid City. I am learning to pack light (even though my bag is still too big to fit on the smaller planes). PS rolling your clothes really works!

My first overnight was in Eugene. The hotel was right next to this pretty river path. They also gave us a voucher for $12 for breakfast which was awesome minus the grumpy waitress (but she made up for it when she combined our vouchers so everyones total meal was free). The hotel didn't have a fridge so I made my own by dumping buckets of ice in the extra sink. Flight attendants definitely learn to improvise and get creative when it comes to these things ya know!

Next overnight was in Rapid City South Dakota. The hotel we stayed at is apparently haunted. It's been on tv and everything. The haunted room is 812, I was in 822. I was pretty stoked about that! When we walked in there was a piano in the lobby, I turned to the crew and said, "I swear if I hear piano music in the middle of the night I'm going back to the airport!" There are a few different ghosts that do the haunting. There is the lady in white who is said to have committed suicide by jumping out of the window in room 812. It was her wedding and she caught her fiance cheating! Then there is a maid and her little kid, the guy who built the hotel who likes to play the piano and take the elevator to the 3rd floor, and finally the top floor has a poltergeist who throws things at the staff. Unfortunately I didn't have any haunting experiences, but I did enjoy an amazingly comfortable bed and the bath and body works products provided by the hotel! I didn't get a lot of time in SD but I did walk around downtown and I also spent some time in the gift shop with a cool guy named Jamie. After talking to him for a while he told me he met a girl a few days earlier who was on her first trip, funny enough it was Brittany from my new hire class. Small world!

And now here I am writing from my new location...Minneapolis Minnesota. Until today I had never been to Minnesota, but it doesn't seem too bad. I'm definitely excited to be here on a new adventure! Getting here didn't go as smoothly as I had anticipated, but I handled it just fine. The airport is huge, a bad day to decide to wear heels, and I felt like I had to walk forever just to find baggage claim. After I got my bags (3 huge and jam-packed) I called the hotel for my shuttle. Well they had me scheduled to come in earlier that day and didn't have a shuttle driver available to come get me so I needed to call the company and they would get me a taxi. Feeling a little panicked (it was 11:45 at night in a big empty airport of a city I've never been in) I was shockingly glad to dig my huge manual out of my bag to find out who to call! Crew support was great, I was a little worried for a minute because I was on hold with them while they called the taxi company and that took quite a while, but eventually they had me a driver. Next step was to find out how to get to the taxi area with all my luggage. I hooked my 2 biggest bags together so I had a mini train and then wheeled all three bags around by myself high heels and all! Getting in and out of elevators wasn't the easiest, but after a couple wrong elevator rides I found myself looking at my taxi driver savior! 

So that's the story so far writing from my hotel in Minneapolis...

Please Be Nice To Your Flight Attendant!!!

Ok so I know that doesn't really mean a lot coming from a Flight Attendant, and I have heard all of your horror stories of terrible, awful, mean Flight Attendants... but seriously people there is a lot more to this job than pouring beverages and passing out peanuts!

So far I have little experience to go on when it comes to "difficult passengers"(I haven't quite left the comforting classroom womb of training) so I can't really complain, but I do know that becoming a Flight Attendant doesn't just happen. The interviews are tough with long days and a lot of hopeful and qualified candidates. Training is an emotionally intense and challenging experience. In just a short time, you learn enough information to complete an entire semester course of a college class. Flight Attendants are prepared to handle numerous situations, emergency or not, that can occur in the sky. Believe it or not, but someday you may need us for something more than the entire can of soda! Just sayin, please remember to be nice to your flight attendant!!!

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